Confessions of a Sperm Banker

Blog written by Laboratory Staff IS

Most people don’t often think about the sperm bank right across town. Unless they are struggling with fertility issues, it’s just not something that enters the mind on a regular basis. So when they meet me, your local sperm banker, their reactions tend to be some variation on surprise.

“Oh yeahhh! I never thought about how that job exists…but of course, it makes sense that it does?”

Or –

“There’s a sperm bank in town?”

It is in these moments that I am no longer just a girl at a (insert social situation here), but EMBASSADOR OF THE SPERM BANKING industry. I happily answer questions about how truly anonymous the anonymous donors are, details about the ID options program, and the statistical improbability of ever meeting potential offspring on the street. When they ask me about what I actually do, I tell them about the science of sperm freezing, quickly followed by a joke about how glad I am it’s not the type of job where you take your work home. I have an awareness that that my audience will, when they get home, turn to their significant other and say, “You’ll never guess who I met today!” and I guess I want to know that the story will be a good one.

Mostly I get peppered with questions that are easily answered. Sometimes I encounter someone whose notions of what it means to be a sperm donor/sperm banker are pre-conceived (pun intended) and negative. I have to remind myself that because I work in this industry everyday, it’s not shocking to me. But people need time to adjust to the idea that there are lab workers whose job it is to analyze sperm. To adjust to the notion that people get paid for sperm specimens. I use these opportunities to tell them that sperm banking is not just for the donor program, but for people who may be undergoing chemotherapy or hormone replacement therapy. I explain donating sperm is not unlike donating blood or bone marrow; they are giving the gift of life. And with the exception of the blood testing and physicals, I am told that it is a pleasant experience for the donors.

Maybe this entry is not so much a confession, since I’m pretty outspoken about my job and the intricacies of sperm. If a confession is to be made, it is that I wish there was more awareness of process by the general public. The day that there is no stigma attached to infertility or to donating sperm, the day I can bypass the getting-to-know-you-red-herring that is my job, will be an awesome day. Not much of a confession, I admit, but if my end goal is to educate and inspire dialogue, then a bit of a misleading title was surely worth a few extra readers. Hey, I got you to read it.

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